My Shattered Heart A Collection of Songfics
by The Lazy Medi-Wolf
Summary: A story told through music. Emmett x OC read to understand, could be a Emm/Bella if you change the name from Ravyn to Bella. Just read the summary in ch 1! Rated due to implied sexual acts, some snogging, a little violence, and cussing.
1. Intro

I am going to say this once and this is true for the entire story. The songs are lyrics borrowed from artists who's names shall be inclided in each chapter. I do NOT own Twilight.

Summary: Imagine Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse but instead of Bella Swan the young girl who falls for Edward is Rayvn Night. And this ignores Breaking Dawn. Rayvn is just as clumsy, but less spineless and pathetic than Bella (sorry to you Bella lover's but she's such a spineless wimp…). She's got the same background as Bella (folks are divorce, tends to parent her mum, not the other way around, calls her father Charlie, etc.) But she can dance (only time shes NOT a klutz). Eh, enjoy, but please no flames only constructive comments.

Oh, yea, and this is an Emmett x O.C. ficcy, and Ed X Rose.


	2. Ch 1: Unfaithful

I smile and kiss Emmett's cheek. "I'm going for a hunt." He grins up at me and asks if I want him to come with, I answer a little too sharply. My heart clenches slightly.

Story of my life

Searching for the right

But it keeps avoiding me

Sorrow in my soul

Cause it seems that wrong

Really loves my company

Emmett is so happy when I spend time with him, I think as I run through the woods. So overjoyed at the simplest things, like holding my hand, or watching an idiotic movie with me.

He's more than a man

He's my Emmett, my vampire husband. And I do love him so much…

And this is more than love

The reason that the sky is blue

The clouds are rolling in

Because I'm gone again

And to him I just can't be true

I reach the meadow, stopping at its edge, wondering if I can really do this, again. It's not like we were fighting, like the first time. Oh no, now it's so different. I step into the meadow and walk slowly toward him, Edward. He's so perfect, everything Emmett was not- polished, refined, a real gentleman.

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

And he knows. As Much as I've tried to hide it he knows. But I push the thought aside as I sink to my knees and kiss Edward. And he responds in kind, sweet and gentle, not passionate like Emmett… Again I try to force his no longer smiling golden eyes from my mind.

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Every time I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

I'm not a monster. I see his pain, I see the way I hurt him inside, but I can't help it. I'm hopelessly addicted to Edward now. And as much as I love my Emmett… He's nothing.

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

And I do feel guilt, I feel awful. Even as Edward's hands brush my hair back, as he carasses my skin. As we tumble to the grass and he begins to slowly, reverently, undress me. But the pain in his eyes is nothing to me when Edward's mouth settles over my breast and suckles. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sensation, trying to block out memory…

I feel it in the air

As I'm doing my hair

Preparing for another date

_One week earlier_

_I was combing my perfect hair, turning my head this way and that. Trying vainly to ignore the slow but steadly growing feeling of dread in the room. Emmett is pacing, I want to cringe…_

A kiss upon my cheek

As he reluctantly

Asks if I'm gonna be out late

_"When will you be back babe?" His voice is soft, sad, but still sweet, still loving. And it cuts me to my heart of ice. His hands are soft on my shoulders, lingering, begging._

I say I won't be long

Just hanging with the girls

_Alice and I are going shopping Emm, you know how we can be." But I turn and kiss his lips, a fake smile on my lips, "I'll try not to be too long, but no promises, we might find a great sale…" I let the sentence linger, unfinished._

A lie I didn't have to tell

Because we both know

Where I'm about to go

And we know it very well

_And while his smile doesn't falter his eyes show his pain, his hurt. He knows I'm lieing, he knows where I'm really going. And I know he knows, have known for weeks, months now. Edward will be waiting for me, again._

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful

And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy

I can see him dying

_I see the pain in his eyes when I come home and hop straight into the shower, before he has a chance to greet me, to smell Edward and sex on my skin. But I see it, I know. And the smile he wears is so fake now, stretched thin and his eyes always so sad. If he could cry I imagine he would, often. Instead he spends more and more time alone, quiet. Another sign of my destruction of his once beautiful soul…_

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

_And later I see Alice's eyes. She knows too, they all do. And I see her eyes, bright with worry, flick to Emmett. Who's ignoring Jasper's attempt to get him to play video games. My stomach clenches, look at what I'm doing to my once love…_

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

_And the worry in her eyes tells me something more. He's thinking of something awful, something horrible, that will be all my fault. She pulls me aside and murmurs, so the other's cannot hear, "If you find a grand missing from your accounts, and he's gone. His death will be on you."_

Our love, his trust

I might as well take a gun and put it to his head

Get it over with

_My sister's harsh words cut me, make me realize. Am I so horrible? Am I killing him? Killing his spirit and will to go on? I am selfish, but not so much so that I would not see, would not understand…_

I don't wanna do this

Anymore

Uh

Anymore (anymore)

_I make a pact with myself. For Emmett, and even for Edward's Rayvn, I will make this stop. No more Edward. I tell myself. So when my phone rings with a text from him setting another date I ignore it, and the next one, and the next one. I feel my own heart begin to die, but as the day's pass Emmett's eyes are a little brighter, a little happier…_

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

And everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

But as I come down from my climax, with Edward panting beside me I realize how weak and pathetic I really am. I built him up, only to crush him again. My poor Emmett, my old love…

Edward scowls at my thoughts and kisses me, wiping my mind clear of all thoughts but a melody and a few lingering, haunting lines…

I don't wanna be...

A murderer (a murderer)

~ "Unfaithful" Rihanna


	3. Ch 2: Jolene

I lay in my room and listen to my favorite broken heart song. The words are a little off, but they still suit the situation. And I sing, and I cry.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

Rose has stolen my Edward, and I can't understand why… Emmett loves her, is so happy with her. She HAS a man, what makes it okay for her to steal mine. My pain wracks my heart, shattering the already broken pieces.

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

She's so beautiful, so perfect. Her skin is flawless and pale as snow. Mine is mostly flawless, and pale too, but not so much as hers. Hey eyes are amazing, those golden orbs… my green one's might be pretty, but they're nothing… nothing compared to her… How could I ever hope to keep my Edward, my perfect love, when she is after him too…

He talks about you in his sleep

And there's nothing I can do to keep

From crying when he calls your name, Jolene

He doesn't sleep, but when he thinks I am he leaves me, her name on his lips. And when he comes back he smells like her. He thinks I don't notice, but I do. I am not so innocent I do not know the smell of sex.

But I can easily understand

How you could easily take my man

But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene

How could she possibly understand? He is my everything, my world. How could she take him from me? I will never find anyone as wonderful as him, as protective, as sweet, as kind, as gentlemanly. I was so damned lucky to have caught his eye, I'm so plain, so normal. Sure the boys at school like me… but they're going no where. And I was so … amazed to have caught a guy who was as smart, and as driven as me. Even if he was a vampire.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

I wanted to find her and beg. Beg her to leave him to me, leave him as mine. I'd fought so damned hard to have him, to keep him, but I was losing. Was it always a losing battle? Was there never any hope I could be good enough?

You could have your choice of men

But I could never love again

He's the only one for me, Jolene

And come on! If she's sick of Emmett she could just find another man, ANY other man. She's so perfect men trip over themselves to be near her. But if Edward leaves… my poor shattered heart can't take it again. I will surely die. And if by some miracle I live… no one will even make me happy. Not after Edward…

I had to have this talk with you

My happiness depends on you

And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

I wish I were brave enough, strong enough to talk to her. But she hates me, it would only make matters worse… My happiness was a lost cause, totally and utterly lost. I text Emmett, maybe… maybe he can help me. We can hurt together.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

After all… If I'm losing him then he's losing her. And as they say, Misery Loves company…

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him even though you can

Jolene, Jolene

For the first time since we found out he doesn't answer my text. My heart begins to crumble, to shatter completely. But I try, so hard to hold myself together. He's been distant, more so that usual…

And fear lances through my heart. He'd been so distant, and Alice had been so worried… I leap out my open window and into the tree. I climb clumsily down and rush to my truck, hoping the roar of its engine won't wake Charlie.

~ "Jolene" Mindy Smith


	4. Ch 3: Pain

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rose leaves again. Running off to him, to my "Brother". I used to wallow, used to destroy things, but now… nothing. I feel nothing as I sit, unmoving, on the couch in the main room. I can feel the stares of my family, their pity, their love, their sadness. But I feel nothing.

Jasper shoots me a worried glance, I wonder in a detached sort of way if this is normal, or even healthy… And then we all hear the sound of gravel crunching under tires and the tell-tale sound of Rayvn's engine.

Esme is immediately at the door, opening it for my "little sister". I wonder if she knows, or if she's still in the dark. "Rayvn, sweety, what brings you here?" Esme asks, lovingly. Just like that first time, the night we first realized…

_Rayvn's black hair is in a messy bun, her bright green eyes blood shot and puffy with tears. "Which one is it?" her voice cracks, "Just tell me it's not Alice…"_

_Alice is instantly at the door, pulling Rayvn into a hug. "I'd never do that to you, or to Jasper." She assures her closest friend, and Rayvn sags into Alice's arms with a sob and holds tightly to my small vampiric sister._

She walks in, her hair in the same messy bun, her eyes red and puffy. But instead of answering my Mother she starts toward me.

You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I envy her, she feels the pain, I feel… nothing. The emptiness burns at me, the hallow feeling eats at my mind until I want nothing than to make it go away… I don't notice my family, lost in my own world of nothingness.

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me and take my hand

When the lights go out you will understand

And then a searingly hot hand falls on my cheek. My eyes fly open and I see a world of pain and green. There is no pity in her eyes, only understanding. "Emmett," she whispers to me, "Emmett lets go for a run. Please."

Her hand leaves my face when I don't move, don't blink. I don't want to be here, but no where else appeals to me. The emptness nags at me. But Rayvn is determined, her hand grasps mine and she tugs. She looks like she's trying hard, but I hardly feel it. I hardly feel anything, just the numbness.

"Damn it Emmett, please!" I realize we are alone, the other's have left us to our own devices. Me to my numbness, and Rayvn to her pain. "Emmett, please…" She begins to break, she sags agaist me, her boneless body collapsing into my lap. She huddles against my cold, unmoving body and sobs. Her tears fall onto my shirt.

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

But I don't care. I can't care. My Rose, my angel, no longer loves me. She leaves me whenever he calls, whenever he looks her way she runs.

Anger and agony

Are better than misery

And then tears, wet and burning, leak through my shirt and fall against my skin. The shock of them makes me take a breath. And the hunger, which I've left unfed for so long rises up in me, Rayvn's sweet, sweet blood calls to me. And the agonizing burn I feel, deep and hot.

Trust me I've got a plan

When the lights go off you will understand

And though I can't feel pain yet I feel so angry. I curl my arms around Rayvn's sobbing body and cradle her to me, forcing the hunger back, away from my small little sister.

How could Edward do this to her! She loved him, she'd done so much for him, put up with so much. And he runs away, again, this time to someone else. I thread my fingers through her black, black hair. She's so… tiny- barely 5'2" and only 110 lbs… I give her a good, long look. Has she lost weight?

Jasper's southern drawl interrupts my thoughts, "Yea, she looks terrible. Worse than you, but only because she can lose weight and cry." I look up at my brother and he gives me a small, sad smile, "At least you're here again."

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

And I realize how much my wallowing has hurt my family. How afraid they've been. "Sorry," I whisper, not wanting to disturb Rayvn as her sobs quiet and her heart beat slows to the deep, even rhythm of sleep.

He shrugs, but it is Esme who says softly, as her hand falls to rest on my shoulder, "There is no need to apologize, Emmett. We understand, as best we can."

And the love I know she feels for me makes me feel stronger. Still I feel no pain, still my broken and shattered heart is mostly numb, but I feel other emotions.

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing

Rather feel pain

_And for weeks I have felt no pain, felt nothing. I move through the motions, slightly more alive than before. But every time she, my Rose, leaves my heart shatters again._

_But I am not alone. Rayvn is there ten minutes after Rose leaves and we sit together. The heat of her body keeping my heart slightly thawed, slightly alive. Still able to feel some things._

I know (I know I know I know I know)

That you're wounded

_I've heard her cry as she sleeps, I know the pain she feels. The pain I feel too. So I try to soothe her, because I cannot soothe myself._

You know (You know you know you know you know)

That I'm here to save you

_She is never afraid of me, even on nights when my eyes are black as her hair. She curls against me and trusts. One night, in her sleep, she whispered my name._

You know (You know you know you know you know)

I'm always here for you

_Sometimes even when Edward is not with Rose she calls me, asks if I want to just… hang. And I always go. We have to be there for each other, and she always answers when I call…_

I know (I know I know I know I know)

That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love

Pain, can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

So I look down at her, at the crying, beautiful woman in my arms. And then I stand, my movement wakes her from her grief induced slumber. I carry her outide before I throw her easily onto my back. "You'd better hold on," I caution her just before I run into the forest at full speed.

Her choked laugh/sob, her tears on my neck and shoulders, her searing body pressed to my back- My frozen heart thaws further, and I feel the walls keeping the pain away begin to crack…

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain

And as we stand together on a cliff, hundreds of miles away, I feel my pain crash upon my like a tidal wave. And It feels so terrible, and so wonderful all at once that I fall to my knees and sob. And while I cannot cry Rayvn kneels beside me and she cries for both of us. For our lost loves, for our shattered hearts, and for our shattered lives.

~ "Pain" Three Days Grace


	5. Ch 4: Leaving

I let my head rest on Emmett's chest as we sit, me perched in his lap with his arms comfortingly around me. I wonder which of us finds this more comforting, and then I decide it doesn't matter. All I need to know is that when I'm with Emmett the pain of my shattered heart lessens, perhaps because he was hurting too, and the knowledge I was not alone soothed me.

"Emmett," I said softly, me hummed in reply, telling me he was listening. "Why do we let them do this to us?" I asked, breathing in his sweet scent that was so like Edward's, but so different somehow.

He shrugged, "Beause we love them," he whispered to me. His hand began playing with my hair and I did not mind as I did when Edward did it.

"But they don't love us Emm…" I felt him flinch but continued, "Don't make excuses for them. If they loved us they wouldn't do this to us…" My voice cracked as tears began to fall from my eyes again.

Emmett hid his face in my hair but whispered, "I know."

"So why? Why do we let our hearts be doormats?" I was angry, but my voice was a whisper, and he knew I wasn't angry at him, but at myself and Edward, and Rose.

"Because we can't stand to walk away," then he corrected himself, "Because I can't stand to walk away, I can't be alone…"

And then it hit me, my wonderful idea that hurt as much as it comforted. "Then we won't be alone." I said, and he looked up from my hair to my face. I met his eyes. "I am through being a doormat, letting Edward step on my heart. I'm leaving him, tonight, when they get home." His eyes were wide and pale gold but shadowed in brown- his pain. I touched his cheek and he closed is eyes, but not before I saw the flash of agony and contentment. I did not draw my hand away. "Emmett, come with me. Leave Rose, and we'll go away together, you and me. We'll never be alone."

It took a long while before he laughed bitterly and opened his eyes. "Schooled in courage by a human who's fifty years younger than me." He stood and lifted me easily into his big arms. His eyes met mine, "I will if you will." He whispered and then gave me a small, wavering smile. At my nod he turned and ran for home.

I've been waiting all day for ya babe

So won't cha come and sit and talk to me

When Edward arrived home I was in his bedroom, and I was prepared. Esme and Carlisle helped us make arrangements. Tomorrow Emmett and I would fly to Miami. We would attend University together, as roommates. Esme promised to have a condo purchased and furnished for us when we arrived there tomorrow night. And Alice had dragged Jasper off to explain the situation to Charlie and then do my "packing".

Edward walked into his room and smiled lovingly at me. He sat beside me and I allowed him to pull me into his cold embrace. "How are you love?" He asked softly, his fingers ghosting over my cheeks.

And tell me how we're gonna be together always

Hope you know that when it's late at night

I Hold on to my pillow tight

And think of how you promised me forever

(I never thought that anyone)

Could make me feel this way

(Now that you're here boy all I want)

Is just a chance to say

"I'm…" I took a deep breath and knew Emmett was about to say the same thing as me. And that gave me courage. "I'm not okay." I said in a shaky voice.

He looked at me, startled, "What's wrong Rayvn? Has anyone hurt you? Upset you?" He immediately went into over protective boyfriend mode and it filled me with a sudden anger.

"Yes," I said, surprising myself with the strength of my voice, "Yes someone has hurt me." He looked ready to kill. "You have." Those two words made him stop short. His eyes wide.

"What have I done wrong love?" He looked so contrite and innocent I almost believed him.

"Oh please Edward. I'm not stupid.

Get Out, (leave) right now,

It's the end of you and me

It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone

'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies

You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

"You cannot possibly believe that you've hidden your affair with Rosaline from us all." He looked like I'd hit him.

"What affair? Rayvn how can you say such a thing? I love you."

Tell me why you're looking so confused

When I'm the one who didn't know the truth

How could you ever be so cold

I laughed outright. "Please Eddy," I said, my voice mocking and cruel for the first time in my life, "You think I don't know what sex smells like? You think I don't see Emmett wasting away? And now you sit there and LIE!" I slapped him, and he was so startled he didn't brace against it. His head snapped to the side but my hand felt like I'd slapped a slab of granite.

To go behind my back and call my friend

Boy you must have gone and bumped your head

Because you left her number on your phone

(So now after all is said and done)

Finally he looked at me again. "How…?" He didn't need to finish the question.

"I smelled it on you one night, when I was awake when you came in. The next time you left I came here and just asked Esme which "sister" of mine it was." He looked livid so I said casually, "Alice was there so I figured it out myself. Besides, Emmett looked terrible." I let my eyes harden, "No wonder you were keeping me away from your family. You couldn't be sure if they'd tell me, but I'd of seen Emmett and known something was wrong."

Maybe I'm the one to blame but

(To think that you could be the one)

Well it didn't work out that way

He had the grace to look ashamed. "What are we going to do?" He asked me, his eyes- the eyes I'd come to love so much boring into me.

And my anger left me in a rush. And without its fire I was cold and empty. Edward saw me sag and wrapped his arms around me before I fell. I broke into hapless sobs and he smoothed my hair, whispering that he loved me, and he was sorry.

Get Out, (leave) right now,

It's the end of you and me

It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone

'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies

You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

I lost my will to fight, to leave, as he help me. He sounded like he loved me, really and truly. I let him kiss my tears away and hold me. I felt my will disappearing, felt the last little bit of ME begin to disappear.

It was both that realization and Emmett's roar of pain that woke me from my idiocy. I began to fight Edward's arms, saying loudly, "Damn it let go Edward!" He refused to release me but them a second roar from Emmett sounded much closer and then Edward's arms were loosening from around me. I scurried away just before Emmett threw Edward through his gigantic window.

"Get OFF HER!" Emmett stood, panting and angry, his body between Edward and me. He was bleeding sluggishly from a huge wound on his shoulder. Had Rosaline hurt him?!

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave

Because my heart is breakin'

With every word I'm sayin'

I gave up everything I had

On something that just wouldn't last

But I refuse to cry

No tears will fall from these

Eyeee-eeee-eeees

Ooooh, ooooh

Get out

I walked to Emmett's side and valiantly tried to hold back my tears. They'd never see me cry again, I told myself. And when Emmett's arm wrapped around me I took comfort in it. I locked my eyes with Edward's. "There is no "we" Edward. I'm leaving you." He looked confused so I said again, "We're over Edward. I won't let you keep breaking my heart. I deserve better than that."

"Rose and I are done," Edward said quickly, ignoring Rosaline's angry gasp, "I swear no more. Please just don't leave."

I almost took his words to heart, but then I remembered the shattered pieces of my poor heart and I glared. "No, you should have thought of the consequences before you started this with Rose. You've broken my heart too many times Edward. I will not waste my life here with you Edward."

Get Out, (leave) right now,

It's the end of you and me

It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone

'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies

You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Edward lunged for me but for once Emmett was faster. He scooped me up into his big arms and ran. I heard snarling behind us as Emmett and I burst from the house, Esme and Carlisle obviously thought he shouldn't follow us.

Get Out, (leave) right now,

It's the end of you and me

It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone

'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies

You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Only when Emmett and I were safely checked into the Airport hotel, he'd run the entire way, did I let my tears fall again. And Emmett said nothing, he simply held me in his arms. I felt his shoulders shaking and knew that he too was crying.

Get out (leave)

You and me

It's too late (too late)

You ohh

Bout her (who, why)

You said that you would treat me right (noooo)

but it was just a waste of time (waste of time)


	6. Ch 5: Wasted

I arrived at the airport hotel just in time. Rayvn was losing her will, second guessing. But I knew, for once I was positive, that she had to do this. For her sake and for Emmett.

Standing at the back door

She tried to make it fast

One tear hit the hard wood

It fell like broken glass

She said sometimes love slips away

And you just can't get it back

Let's face it

Emmett pulled open the hotel room door and as soon as he stepped aside I could see her, my best friend, broken and afraid. She stood, looking over the city from their balcony, the glass doors flung wide and the curtains whipping in the breeze. Her tears fell slowly, not fast like they had before, not driven by mind numbing, heart shattering devestation. She cried tears of sorrow and loss, and Jasper, who stood beside me was so moved by her emotions he sagged against the door frame.

"Why does love have to end like this?" she asked in a whisper, knowing we were there. "Why does it all go wrong? Why does it break so terribly you can't fix it?"

For one split second

She almost turned around

And for a moment, just a moment, I saw her future. Saw her cuddled into Edward's arms and I fought the urge to snarl. But like that it was gone, replaced by Miami and Emmett.

But that would be like pouring rain drops

Back into a cloud

So she took another step and said

I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

She turned back to us and gave us a wavering smile, and as Jasper was able to stand on his won I knew she was slowly taking heart. "I want to go back," Emmett tensed but she continued, slipping her hand in his, "But I know it's idiotic, pointless." She smiled softly up at my brother, her eyes shining with her tears and her determination. "So let's do this while we still have the strength." Emmett smiled slightly, and I knew it would eventually be alright.

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded

Waiting to wake up one day and find

That I've let all these years go by

Wasted

Jasper and I were on the flight with them, to help them settle into their new home. With my hand tucked into Jasper's I could feel Rayvn's emotions like they were my own. She was ashamed and embarrassed, her heart heavy with her mistakes. I leaned across the isle and touched her hand, she looked up at me and blushed.

"How could I let him do that to me?" she whispered, "How can I want to go back?" Emmett wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. "I've wasted so much of my life on him, so much of my love."

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain

So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain

He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday

Gotta face it.

We'd given her a fake ID so she could get any job she wanted. We hadn't expected her to use it to buy drinks on the plane. As she took her first sip of her second whiskey sour she grimaced and handed the drink to Emmett. He'd been eyeing the drink with curiosity and he sniffed the beverage. At Rayvn's nod he downed the drink.

The face he made had Rayvn giggling, dispite her pain filled eyes. "Don't let me learn to like that shit Emm," she whispered to him, but I over heard. "I can't be allowed to wallow."

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded

Waiting to wake up one day and find

That I've let all these years go by

Wasted

Emmett nodded, "No more wasting time on people who don't give us a second thought."

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing

The still of the morning, the color of the night

I ain't spending no more time

Wasted

We arrived in Miami just after night fall. There was going to be a car waiting for us, the keys in the ignition held a set of house and mailbox keys. Emmett smiled when he saw it. Rayvn laughed. It was a Hummer 4, brand new and vibrant orange.

I heard Rayvn mutter as she climbed into the backseat, "No more wasting my life." She said it like a matra, over and over again. Jasper was so overwhelmed by her pain he could only sit and try to control his gift.

Emmett, while mildly cheered by his new "toy", was in little better shape than Rayvn, so I took the driver's seat. Emmett looked almost ready to argue but instead he climbed in the backseat with Rayvn and held her.

She kept drivin' along

Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side

He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear

For the first time in a while

After a while Rayvn looked up and saw the ocean glittering in the moonlight. Her startled gasp made Emmett smile slightly. Jasper perked up some, meeting my eyes and nodding, he was alright, and they were slowly becoming closer and closer to okay too.

Hey, yeah,

Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded

Waiting to wake up one day and find

That I've let all these years go by

Wasted

Rayvn seemed pleased by the condo Esme bought for them. It was right on the beach and was tastefully decorated in a beautiful Asian theme. Rayvn smiled slightly, and even though the smile did not last she trailed her fingers lovingly over many of the pieces of furniature. Esme would be pleased.

We tried to settle Rayvn into her bedroom but she refused to leave Emmett's side. Finally they settled into the couch in the main room, Emmett's arms wrapped around Rayvn's small form. I worried over her stability until Jasper soothingly rubbed my hand. I smiled lovingly at him, and the relief in his eyes was enough to break my heart all over again.

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing

The still of the morning, the color of the night

I ain't spending no more time

Wasted

I turned on the radio to find a country song playing. I was about to change it, seeing Emmett's and Jasper's twin grimaces, until Rayvn's voice began to hum along. And then she began to sing softly.

"Oh, I don't wanna' spend my life jaded

Waiting to wake up one day and find

That I've let all these years go by

Wasted"

Rayvn's head rested on Emmett's chest as she sang and we all stared at her in surprise. But slowly, as she sang, the gaunt look that had haunted Emmett bega to fade, as did the pain in Rayvn's green eyes. Jasper began to relax.

"Yeah, yeah

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing

The still of the morning, the color of the night

I ain't spending no more time

Wasted"

As her voice faded into nothingness Jasper met my eyes and smiled, a small but real smile. And I knew then, even without a vision, that they would be okay, together they could get through it.

~ "Wasted" Carrie Underwood

A.N. Thank you to Legolassss who was my first reviewer. Hope I can make sure you end up pleased with the results. :D


	7. Ch 6: Stupid Boy

Alice and I remained in Miami for a week before we returned home. It surprised me to find Edward and Rosaline in the old rooms. It surprised me even more to feel the animosity between them. Had so much changed in a week?

I telepathic brother was hunting, but he would return shortly. So I went to Rosaline. "what happened?" I asked my "twin".

She huffed and I could feel her anger and hurt. "He LEFT me!" She screeched. "He decided that I was just a distraction, a physical relief because he was afraid of hurting Rayvn! I thought he LOVED me!" She sagged and her screamed became the barest whisper, "I love him, but he loves her."

I nodded, "What did you expect Rose? When he begged her to stay?"

She glared at me but didn't answer. I walked out. I am not normally a vindictive person, but I knew, knowing that Edward loved Rayvn still, exactly how to punish my idiotic brother for hurting my little sister.

Perhaps it was the pain I'd felt her go through that made me so angry, so ready to dole out punishment. But she'd been so… broken.

Well, she was precious like a flower

She grew wild, wild but innocent

A perfect prayer in a desperate hour

She was everything beautiful and different

_I scowled at my brother as he sat beside us at the lunch table. His entire being throbbing with his fasination and his attraction to the silly human girl. He scowled at me momentarily but I just glared back. He turned his eyes back to the girl. 'What could possibly be so wonderful?' I asked myself. Truthfully I hadn't even seen her yet._

_So my curiousity and Edward's affection made me turn and look. I was startled at what I saw. Pale, milky skin, soft and delicate looking covered veins that throbbed, but with Edward's feelings in my heart I was able to look past that, as he did. Her skin was flawless and pale, and it contrasted sharply with her dusky colored, full lips, her emerald eyes, and her hair that shone like a raven's wing. I smiled as Edward did, we enjoyed the irony of that thought together. She was… beautiful._

_But she was reading while the other's talked, ignoring their idiotic gossip. And she was dressed in such… beautiful but different clothes. She was… exquisite. And in that moment I could completely understand Edward's affection for the small girl._

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in

Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind.

_But my stupid brother fell in love, and then told her the truth. And surprisingly she hadn't minded, she'd accepted him- and us- with open arms. But slowly, over the months I noticed small changes. She was less lively, less vibrant and wild. Less like the small wild cat and more like a tame pet._

Edward's anger snapped me from my memories, he had returned home and he was not happy with my thoughts.

"If you don't like what's in my mind," I said, knowing it would anger him, "Then don't look."

She let her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

I tried to recall what her ambition had been, when we'd all first met. She'd been go passionate about something… But then Edward had become her everything slowly, she'd lost her drive, her passion. He'd tamed the small wild cat.

Edward growled at me but I ignored him.

She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens

When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

Stupid boy, stupid boy

Oh

And then I remembered something Alice had once told me, something we couldn't believe was true so we went to see for ourselves…

_Edward did not know we were there, he was too focused. He'd not meant to hurt her feelings, not meant to be cruel, but when Rayvn confessed her desire to run a children's help center for those who were abused he'd scoffed. I could feel his reaction cut into her self-esteem deeply, slice away some of her already dwindling self-worth._

Edward was still beside me, but instead of being angry he was shocked and ashamed. I knew he'd never meant to hurt her, but the way he'd treated her, like a woman from his time, dependant and helpless.

So what made you think you could take a life

And just push it push it around

I guess you build yourself up so high

You had to take her and break her down

I didn't believe his incessant need to choose for her and control her had been a means of hurting Rayvn. But… I looked at my brother and saw his ashamed eyes, he nodded for me to continue… he'd torn her down while making himself feel like the good protector. He hadn't taken into account the changing times, he'd been too stuck on what he'd wanted, and not what she wanted… or even who she was.

She let her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens

When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

You stupid boy

So I let him see what she'd wanted him to never know. He saw through my eyes the shattered and helpless woman he'd created. I let him see the tears, and the hopelessness in her eyes. I let him feel the terror of her nightmares, and her devastated self worth. He looked away, so ashamed I almost felt guilty myself.

Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost

The only thing that ever made you feel alive

Yeah, yeah

And I let him see her wrapped in Emmett's arms while they cried together. Let him see them comfort one another, let him see what Alice had told me may come to pass. He choked and crumpled to his knees. I could feel his heart breaking as hers had, and I felt no pleasure at hurting him, but it needed to be done.

Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

Yes, you did

She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens

When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old

Same old stupid boy

I let him see and hear her singing, the first night in her new home. I let him feel her pain, and that tiny glimmer of hope.

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run

But when she did, she was long gone

Long gone, long gone

Ah, she's gone

And lastly I showed him her determination, her determination to never come back to him, to never let any one "waste" her time or love again. And I didn't need to be a mind reader to know he knew she was long, long gone. Far beyond his reach and then some.

He turned, his pain almost as mind numbing as hers had been, and ran into the woods. Later Alice told me what I'd done, that he'd gone to Denali for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to care, even when Esme began to cry. Because I could hear, on the wind, his voice as he sang the last verse to one of her favorite songs.

"Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me

And she loved me, she loved me

God please, just let her know

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Baby, yeah, I'm down on my knees

She's never coming back to me"

~"Stupid Boy" Keith Urban


	8. Ch 7: The Next Time

I watched as Rayvn slept. After three months she could finally sleep alone all the way through the night. Still she had nightmares, I could hear her whimper sometimes, but at least she could sleep.

She'd enrolled in a few psychology classes, hoping to move on with her life. I took a few night classes, basic general requirements for now. I wasn't sure what I wanted to study this time…

But because of this I had a lot of time to myself, to wallow, and to read her textbooks for the hell of it. She had a class on "Psychology of Love". I thought it was morbid and probably hurt her more than it did help her. But she enjoyed it enough that I'd read the textbook.

They say I'll love again some day

A truer love will come my way

The Next time

It said I'd eventually find another, because as a "human" I was a social animal who could simply not exist without a set of relationships. I wondered if that meant I need romantic relationships or just relationships. Because I had my brother and sister, Jasper and Alice, my "parents", and Rayvn. And it was all I wanted.

But after you there'll never be

A next time for me

Besides, I wasn't entirely sure I COULD love again. It sure didn't feel like it. I stood ad began pacing the small condo. I felt like I'd given my heart to Rosaline and gotten back nothing but a few fragmented pieces- not even the entire shattered remains so there was no hope of rebuilding it.

I needed to run… I decided. I wrote a quick note to Rayvn, should she wake up early, and headed out the door. Once on the beach I ran, enjoying the wind and the salty air.

They say that I'll find happiness

In someone else' warm caress

The next time

I tried to imagine another woman touching me, making me feel as Rose had. It just made me angry and violently ill. I growled, I was hungry.

Without another thought I ran straight into the ocean. I'd discovered that whale and shark blood were pretty decent the first night after Alice and Jasper left. And shark was almost as much fun to catch as grizzly.

The hunt helped calm me, helped settle my anger. As I swan out to sea I thought.

I'll soon forget your kiss

And heartache such as this

Will just be ancient history.

Well there would be upsides to getting over Rose. First off my heart, or the pieces I had left, wouldn't hurt so much. And being able to be happy… it would be nice. As would flirting with random strangers, since Rose had never let me get away with THAT.

They say that I'm a fool to weep

That I won't go on loosing sleep

The next time

I returned home an hour before sunrise but Rayvn was already awake. I smiled sadly at my poor little Rayvn. She sat perched on the counter, holding a cup of steaming plum tea, wearing only one of my shirts. I had to grin, she looked like a drowned rat.

She met my eyes with her bright green ones and smiled slightly. She patted the counter beside her and I joined her, dropping my arm around her. She ignored my dripping wet clothes and leaned into my touch. I hoped she would get over the hurt of Edward, because the bags under her eyes were beginning to look like mine.

That someone else will

Mend the heart

You've broken in two

I wondered if the common belief of new love mending a new heart was true. Could someone help me mend my heart?

I looked down at Rayvn's head laid on my shoulder and thought that if anyone could help me put myself back together again it would be her. Whenever I wanted to talk she was always up for it, but on nights like this one she seemed to sense I didn't want to talk and was happy so simply spend time with me.

But

How can I fall in love,

The next time

Didn't her book say one would have to be totally over the last lover to make a relationship work? I sighed and leaned back against the cabinets, there was no hope for me then. Because I'd never be able to do that…

When I'm still so very much

In love with you.

I'd never NOT love Rosaline. No matter what she did to me and to Rayvn. Absently I began toying with her hair, I enjoyed how she'd let me do it. She used to snap at Edward for doing it, and Rosaline would NEVER let me play with her hair. Rayvn sighed and cuddled closer to me.

They say that I'm a fool to weep

That I won't go on loosing sleep

The next time

"You'll always love her, won't you?" she asked me uncannily, could the kid read minds?

"Yes," I said softly, wondering if that made me pathetic.

She nodded, "Me too, I'll always love him… But my professor says that we never stop loving people, we just… understand that they aren't healthy for us, and we learn to love someone else." She sat up and finished her tea, then twisted to place the small cup into the sink. "I hope he's right. Because I'd hate to never love again." Her laugh was bitter, "I mean come on, I'd like to get some real sleep, ya know?"

I just nodded and stroked her hair.

That someone else will

Mend the heart

You've broken in two

And we sat there together, on the counter with my arm wrapped around her and her cheek pressed against my chest, as the sun came up. And when the sun glittered off my arms and face, and off her tears I realized that she wasn't just the only one who could possibly help me put my heart back together, she was the one who WAS helping he put myself back together.

And that I was helping her put herself back together too.

But

How can I fall in love,

The next time

I smiled down at her, even thought she wasn't looking at me, and hugged her. She returned the hug but she was bewildered as she did so. I was determined to help her, to mend her heart as she was slowly mending mine. And one day we would both find love again.

When I'm still so very much

In love with you.

When I'm still so very much

In love with you.

I still loved Rosaline, and I always would. But she wouldn't hold me back anymore, or ever again.

~"The Next Time" Cliff Richard


	9. Ch 8: I'm Not Your Girl

Two years later and I'm completely happy again. And finally I'd found the one thing I hadn't realized I'd been missing… Myself. And for the first time since I left Forks I was going to go back, going to visit them all. Emmett parked in the long term parking and grabbed our bag from the trunk. He shouldered it and offered me his large hand, which I took happily.

The flight was uneventful, terribly so, but with Emmett there I found myself amused constantly. He was finally back to his usual self- bright, happy, and always up for trouble. He tormented me constantly, but I loved every minute of it.

When we arrived at the airport Charlie was there, waiting for me. And I suppose I surprised him by yelling happily, "Daddy!" and running up to him and throwing my arms around him.

He looked about ready to have a heart attack for a moment, and then he hugged me back tentatively and laughed. "Hello there RayRay." I blushed at the use of my childhood nickname. He looked up at Emmett and offered him a grin, "Good to see you've been taking care of my girl Cullen."

Emmett looked pleased, as opposed to insulted as I feared, "I do my best sir." And that did it, he won a place in Charlie's heart with that one sentence.

The next day we visited the Cullen House. It looked exactly the same, as we expected. Charlie had begged off, claiming he had paperwork, but really he just hated Edward and couldn't bring himself to be nice. I didn't mind.

Esme pulled me into a tight hug and burst out sobbing- could she cry I was afraid she would have. I awkwardly patted her back, "Hey Esme, we missed you too."

She released me and then I was swept up into a hug from Alice. Carlisle gave me a much more restrained hug, which was a pleasant change to the rib cracking ones I'd been receiving, and Jasper dropped an affectionate kiss to my cheek.

He stepped aside and I saw Rosaline and Edward. For half a second I wanted to turn and run, but Emmett draped his arm around my shoulders and I knew we'd get through it together.

I walked up to Edward and Rose and offered them a small smile. "'ello you two." I said softly. Edward twitched, almost as if he wanted to hug me but restrained himself. I guess I surprised all of us when I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened, then gave me a gentle hug. When he released me I stepped toward Rosaline. She offered me her hand but I hugged her instead. "Believe it or not I've missed you two." I told them, admitting it to myself and aloud for the first time.

Rose hugged me tentatively and I could feel my family's relief. Emmett hugged Rosaline and clasped Edward on the back.

You want a girl who does what's right

The kind who is always there beside you

Someone who is quiet and polite

Like staying home on every Friday night

I knew from Jasper's letter that they were not an item and it made things easier on me. Because it confirmed my suspicion that Edward was stuck in the past, stuck wanting a girl who was a 1900's sort of woman.

Well that sounds so cute and sweet

But that doesn't do a thing for me

None of us were like that, and for that reason I pitied Edward. And I was indescribably happy that I had gotten away from him to remind myself of who I really am.

I'm really not that boring

I'm headstrong

And annoying

So I don't see me fitting in your world

Emmett loved to spend time with me because we were so damned similar. I was just as damned headstrong and stubborn as him, and just as off the wall. And as I was, proud and strong, and a little nutty, there was no way I'd ever work with Edward.

I'm noisy and I'm messy

Plus you would never get me

hey I think you're really hot

But I'm Not Your Girl

And it seemed like Edward was noticing it too. Perhaps my outfit was a little… blunt. But it worked, and I really did like it. Given that it was summer and warmish I was wearing a slinky, jade green lace top cami that showed my silver bra a little, a pair of skinny black jeans, and high heels (I'd even noticed Rosaline eyeing the heels enviously- they WERE Jimmy Choo's…). To set it all off I wore a silver and onyx necklace, matching earring, and a pretty, but more dainty, matching ring.

But I imagined it was more than that. Finally Edward asked if he could talk with me and as I saw no reason to say no I agreed.

So you're into good

And that's too bad

So save your flowers and your poetry

You take a hint

I'll take a cab

You go to bed

I'll find a party

"You're happy?" he asked and I nodded. "But you're still single?" Again I nodded, I was so sure he'd realized how different we really were I didn't even expect what he said next…

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine sweetly, I pulled away quickly. "Edward… Edward no."

Typical is what your after

Not some beautiful disaster

He looked startled, "Edward… I can't. I love you, I'll always love you. But… We won't work as a couple." He opened his mouth to argue and I pressed my hand against his lips, the tingle of that light pressure still affected me but I held my self in check. "Edward you want a good girl, a sweet young woman who'd let you chose her path and protect her. And as much as I let you turn me into that girl it's not me." I moved my hand from his mouth as Emmett chose that moment to interrupt.

"Edward…" he said as kindly as possible, "Rayvn isn't that girl. She's a beautiful, wonderful, out of control wild thing. She's the wild wolf where you want a dog."

I'm really not that boring

I'm headstrong

And annoying

So I don't see me fitting in your world

I'm noisy and I'm messy

Plus you would never get me

hey I think you're really hot

But I'm Not Your... Girl...

Edward seemed to get it that time. He backed off quickly and Jasper smiled at me encouragingly when I felt my heart begin to sink. His control was so much better than it used to be, so when he sat next to me it was only a slight surprise.

That you've been looking for

Boy I'm not the girl next door

Be happy that I'm letting you off easy

Yeah...

Oh... Yeah...

"You're right you know" he said softly, "You're not the girl who'd fit with Edward."

I sighed, "Yea, I know, but sometimes I think back and miss it, being with him. Because he loved… loves me. And I miss that. I miss being the center of someone's world, as selfish as it sounds."

He gave me a knowing smile, one that told me he knew way more than he'd ever say, "But you don't want to be smothered RayRay." I grimaced then turned and shot a glare at Emmett. He just laughed. "Besides," Jasper said, drawing my attention back to him, "You'll find that again. I promise."

I'm not really that boring

I'm headstrong

And annoying

So I don't see me fitting in your world

I'm noisy and I'm messy

Plus you would never get me

hey I think you're really hot

But I'm not your girl

(I'm not your girl)

I'm not your girl (I'm not your girl)

I'm not your girl (I'm not your girl)

I'm not your girl (I'm not your girl)

No.....No no...

I'm not (I'm not your girl)

Boy you need to see I'm not your girl

~"I'm Not Your Girl" Lalaine


	10. Ch 9: Crazy For This Girl

She rolls the window down

And she

Talks over the sound

Of the cars that pass us by

I looked over at Rayvn as she rolled the window down in my Hummer 4 as we drove home from the airport. She'd handled the trip home so well, better than I'd expected. And she'd been strong enough to help me. I grinned bitterly at the irony. The strongest vampire my family has ever known and I need HER to help me be strong.

As the wind tugged at her long hair I wanted to reach out and run my hand through it. My own shock at the desire stayed my hand for only a single of her heartbeats. I reached out, not at all concerned as to how she'd react, and tucked some of her loose hair behind her ear, letting my fingers trail across her burning hot skin. She just smiled at me softly before turning back to the scenery.

And I don't know why

But she's changed my mind

The trip home… the trip to Forks (it was no longer home) had done me wonders. I'd realized, when I'd seen Rosaline, that while I loved her still the feelings had dimmed to the faintest glowing ember where once it had been a roaring wild fire. Something about living a life with only my Rayvn, my closest friend, had changed me. Rayvn had changed me.

Would you look at her

She looks at me

She's got me thinking about her constantly

I pulled the Hummer into the parking spot allocated to us and watched as she clumsily climbed from her seat. I knew better than to offer her help, but I watched for her possible fall. And then her foot caught as she stepped from the street to the curb, before she could face plant I had her safely in my arms.

She blushed but smiled up at me, where shed on snapped at anyone else. "Thanks Emm," she said softly, "You're always catching me."

I just laughed as I set her down, "That's because you're always tripping Rayv-baby."

She raised her eyebrow at my newest nickname for her but didn't argue. It was obviously preferred over RayRay, which I was simply saving for the opportune moments…

But she don't know how I feel

And as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl

I hoped she'd never realize how much I depended on her, how much I needed her. Aside from the obvious help she provided with clothing and housework- which I am terrible at by the way, absolutely terrible. But also her companionship. She was always up for anything, always up for a game or a party. And she always helped me keep my blood lust in check. Without her I'd of broken and gone back to Rose, without her I'd be crazy. She was my world, my best friend, and I loved every moment of it. Sad as that sounds.

She was the one to hold me

The night

The sky fell down

Like the night she broke me out of my numb (she called it a catatonic) state.

_Her hot tears fell on my chest, through my shirt, and the blazing heat of them began to thaw the ice I'd wrapped my heart in. Slowly but surely I began to feel, feel my pain, feel my family's fear, their love… My personal oven curled in my lap and cried with me, cried the tears I could not for the loss we both felt._

_And then we ran, together we ran and cried and ran more. Rayvn stood strong, she decided to leave, and she said we could do it. I wasn't so sure, but I agreed. And I loved the smile- even as sad as it had been- that she'd given me._

And what was I thinking when

The world didn't end

Why didn't I know what I know now

I stripped and stepped under the shower, the hot, hot water burning against my cold body. What I wouldn't have given to know two years ago what I now knew. I'd of left Rose sooner, I'd of protected Rayvn better from Edward. I'd of been happier with my Rayvn for longer. I'd of done anything to feel then what I did now, because hind sight was a bitch. And I'd never been as happy then as I was right now, sharing a modest and simple life with Rayvn.

Would you look at her

She looks at me

She's got me thinking about her constantly

And she was always there, even if not physically, she was there in my head. I was always thinking of her, or what we could do next, how we could go have fun. If she'd like my newest game design- that's what I did, design video games- or if she'd like help with her newest client. If she was alright, walking around that gigantic campus alone. If she'd be alright, braving those crazy streets.

Often I spent my days worrying over her safety. I'd never tell her no, but still I worried. She was so fragile, so small… and so IMPORTANT. She might mean so little to the world but she WAS my world…

But she don't know how I feel

And as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl

My stomach clenched. She was my world… Rayvn was my entire WORLD… I slumped against the wall of the shower, my shoulders and back leaving a dent I the tiles. Good lord why hadn't I noticed it… Why hadn't Jasper or Alice… Because they knew… I felt ill, something I hadn't felt since Rosaline. God what if Rayvn KNEW. Or worse… what if she didn't know yet but found out…

Right now

Face to face

All my fears

Pushed aside

And right now

I'm ready to spend the rest of my life

With you

I closed my eyes to block out the terrible possibilities- my Rayvn laughing at me, my Rayvn with another man to spite me, with another man because she had no idea… I could see the gravestone she'd have in fifty years… And then my mind supplied a different image, one that filled me with longing.

My Rayvn in a white dress, smiling at me as she walked toward me on Charlie's arm… My Rayvn as a vampire, the same but slightly different, beside me for eternity…

How I WANTED those things… How I wanted her to want those things too…

Would you look at her

She looks at me

She's got me thinking about her constantly

But she don't know how I feel

She couldn't know, I decided. She'd be too awkward, she can't hide anything from me. She doesn't even try, and she never lies. I was so lost in my own head I didn't hear her… didn't notice her leaning on the bathroom doorframe.

"Hey Emm," I jumped and she laughed slightly, "Jumpy much babe?" I bared my teeth at her and she giggled, "Do you want to go out? We can try to find some cute somebody's to help us stick it to Eddy and Rose."

My heart both sagged in relief and in hurt. She didn't know, she'd never be so cruel intentionally… But she wanted someone else… The thought put my hackles up, made me want to snarl…

And as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl

I looked at her, clothed in nothing but a pale green silk robe with panda's sewn on it, a Christmas gift from me last year… Her hair was wet and so was her skin… The silk clung to her. I closed my eyes.

"Sure Rayv-babe, let me finish showering and we'll go have some fun." I tried to keep my voice level, tried to hide my fear and hurt and hope.

Would you look at her

She looks at me

She's got me thinking about her constantly

But she don't know how I feel

She just smiled at me. "Great, I'll go get sexy." She turned and began to walk out, saying over her shoulder with a playful look, "Hurry up now, or I'll come in there and get ya." I bit my lip to keep from responding. Oh GODS that girl would be the death of me.

And as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl

I washed and stepped from the shower, hearing her blow dryer going in the other bathroom. Knowing I had easily twenty minutes I dressed slowly, taking care to choose clothes I knew she liked on me, then dropped myself onto the couch to game for a bit.

When she walked out of her room I looked up and felt my jaw drop. "When did you buy THAT?!" I asked in a strangled voice, my eyes probably as wide as dinner plates.

"Alice gave it to me. Said to wear it next time we went clubbing." As I looked over Rayvn- dressed in the emerald green corset embroidered with black and gold dragons, tight leather pants, black heels and black leather wrist cuffs- I wasn't sure if I wanted to kill or kiss my littlest, clothing-crazed sister.

I bit my lip as Rayvn walked out of the apartment ahead of me and hoped to find myself a distraction in the club… or I'd never be able to stop myself from telling Rayvn how I really felt. Telling her that I loved her…

~ "Crazy For This Girl" Evan & Jaron


	11. Ch 10: You Set Me Free

Emmett had perched himself at the bar and was drinking. Apparently vampires could drink spirits, but only if they were going to stomach the awful taste. And for some reason Emmett was in the mood to indulge. I lost sight of him as I moved on the dance floor. The music thrummed through my body and I let it take my mind away, away to a place where I didn't have powerful but confusing feelings for my best friend and roommate.

But every time I opened my eyes I sought him out, needed to see him, even when I was in the arms on other men. But did he notice? No… instead he just kept downing shot after shot of whiskey… And then the reality of it hit me, Emm was drinking again…

I fought my way from the arms of my admirers, idiots all of them really, and toward my Emmett. When I reached him I gently placed my hand over his full shot glass.

Can't you see?

There's a feeling that's come over me

Close my eyes

You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless

"Emm, babe, what's up?" I leaned close so I didn't have to shout to be heard, my lips only a scant inch from his cheek. I looked at him and prayed he'd not notice, played he'd attribute my flushed cheeks to the dancing, my glazed eyes to mild dizziness, and my sudden lack of breath from the exhertion of forcing my way through the crowd.

"Nothin," he growled at me, and I knew we had a problem.

"Liar," I said softly before dropping a kiss to his cheek. I was always affectionate with him, but now touching his icy cold skin burned and made my heart race even faster. I wanted so much more… I took his big hands in mine and smiled, "Come dance with me."

No need to wonder why

Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny

To my extreme pleasure he didn't deny me like I was afraid he would. His bad mood, whatever had caused it, wasn't so bad that he'd refuse me. As he took me in his arms when we reached the dance floor I was reminded how wonderful he was, and how damned lucky I was he was mine in any sense of the words.

'Cause I wanted to fly,

so you gave me your wings

Whenever I want something he'd do it. I'd wanted to learn to scuba dive, so he'd arranged for nighttime lessons. Because he never breathed we could remain under longer 'cause we'd swap tanks. It was amazing, and he'd shelled out a small fortune to make it all happen. He'd given me so much over the years…

And time held its breath so I could see, yeah

And you set me free

The music slowed to one of the few slow songs of the night and I just leaned against my Emmett, my big teddy bear, and rested my head on his broad chest. He chuckled softly. And I wondered how I'd of ever made it through everything without him.

If he hadn't been strong enough to leave Rosaline when I wanted to leave Edward… I'd of never left Edward. I'd of stayed his "good little girl" and never been really me, never free.

There's a will

There's a way

It was Emmett's will that got me through. Emmett was the strong one, always looking after me, always making sure I was okay. Without him by my side I'd of cracked the instant Jasper and Alice left. His wonderful, strong will made a way for us to survive, to learn to live again. … To learn to love again.

Sometimes words just can't explain

This is real

I'm afraid

Gods why did it have to be Emmett who made me whole again? His big arms tightened slightly around me and the cold of his body was refreshing against the heat of the club… Oh, yea, that's why. Because he always knew what I needed, even when I didn't know. He was my knight in shining armor. Except he was better than that, because he was really real, not some ink on a page.

I guess this time there's just no hiding, fighting

You make me restless

I looked up at him… Gods how I wanted to kiss him…

Being in his arms made the burning desire to tell him even more powerful. How could I hide it from him? How could I fight it? He had helped rebuild my heart from the shattered pieces… and now he'd laid claim to it without even knowing.

You're in my heart

The only light that shines

there in the dark

My poor heart, as abused as it and I were, still I was drawn to the light that was Emmett. Like an idiotic half charred moth to yet another flame. He was the candle in the dark guiding me home, the light showing me the way so I would not fall.

'Cause I wanted to fly,

so you gave me your wings

_I'd been an idiot to confess that I wanted most of all to fly, to really truly fly. So here I was, standing in the airplane, in the dead of night, harnessed to Emmett, about to leap out of a plane. Skydiving, he'd said, was the closest thing to flying. And he'd gone through so much trouble… I couldn't admit to him I was petrified of heights. So instead I clung to him like white on rice, praying to whatever god or goddess out there to get me through the next few minutes alive._

_"Come on Rayvn! Here we go!" His booming voice made me feel safe even as he picked me up and leapt from the plane. I screamed in terror and excitement as he roared with laughter._

_As the wind whipped past us and we fell, plummeting to earth at breakneck speeds, I realized how… utterly peaceful it was. Emmett's arms held me safely to his rock hard chest, and he'd never let me be hurt. He'd always protect me, he'd said as much over and over again on the drive over…_

_So I let myself enjoy. I let myself forget the earth coming up at me with frightening speeds, I forgot how high we really were, both of which were easy given I couldn't SEE a damned thing. And instead… I just felt. I felt my heart beating in my chest, felt the wind in my hair and on my cheeks…_

And time held its breath so I could see, yeah

And you set me free

_And for once in my short life, with my best friend keeping me safe, I was really FREE. I laughed with joy and abandon I'd never before felt, and I felt my heart rising when I heard- and felt- Emmett's booming laugh…_

I came back to myself as the song ended. "Come on," Emmett said, bending to speak directly into my ear, "Let's go home." I let him pull me gently from the bar, smiling at him.

"Feeling better?" I asked, tucking my hand into his and pressing my head against his muscular arm.

He flashed me his first real grin since we entered the bar, "Much," He stopped and pulled me into a bone crushing hug, "thanks to you." He brushed my hair from my cheeks, "You always know what I need."

When I was alone

You came around

Five days later he was hunting when I woke from a nightmare. I knew, rationally, that he wouldn't be there, but I ran into his bedroom and collapsed into his bed. I pressed my face into his pillow and cried, taking some small comfort in his sweet, musky, and crisp scent.

I'd no sooner taken my fourth shaky breath when the bed dipped under his greater weight. His arms wrapped around me and he held me gently but firmly. "What's wrong babe?" I quivered and sobbed into his chest, not even bothering to explain. I simply marveled at how quickly he could return to me.

When I was down

You pulled me through

His big, cold hands rubbed my back soothingly and slowly he calmed the fear and panic that ran through my veins. Once I was calm he didn't bother moving me, he simply curled up around me in a more comfortable manner and whispered, "Go to sleep babe. I'll keep the monsters at bay." I grinned, showing how I appreciated the irony in his statement, and cuddled closer to him. I sighed in comfort before I fell back into oblivion. But the monsters that plagued me every night remained gone while he held me so lovingly.

And there's nothing that

I wouldn't do for you

Instead I dreamed and I remembered…

_Emmett and I were at a club when a bar fight broke out. We'd been dancing together when one idiot broke a bottle over another idiots head. The smell of blood instantly triggered Emmett. He surged forward, closer to me as I was in-between the idiots and him. His big body was pressed firmly to mine as he continued forward, but I didn't leave him._

_"Emmett," I said urgently, "Emmett!" He didn't notice me, so I hit him. I hit his chest, hit his cheek, hit his arms. I got nothing but a sore hand. "God Emm forgive me," I said, just before I drove my knee into his groin. Stone they may be but even being a vampire doesn't stop THAT hurt._

_He hissed down at me, finally sparing me some attention, as I groaned in pain over my seriously bruised knee. "Emmett," I said harshly, "Emm get a hold of yourself!" But he didn't listen. He pulled me up to him, pulled me clean off my feet and lifted my neck to his lips._

_His black eyes met mine before he pressed his cold lips to my throat. But still, idiotically, I was not afraid. Before he could bite me I put my mouth to his neck and bit down as hard as I could. He hissed at me, pulling away from my bite- which saved me from his bite at least for the moment. And then I kissed his cheek and yelled in his ear "Emmett STOP IT!"_

_He blinked twice in rapid succession. His eyes faded quickly back to a rich gold. Happily no one had noticed us in the commotion of the fight. He swept me up into both his arms bridal style and walked out of there swiftly saying, "Thanks babe. That was a bad few minutes…"_

_I'd whispered against his skin, "I never doubted you." And he smiled._

'Cause I wanted to fly,

so you gave me your wings

And time held its breath so I could see, yeah

And you set me free

When I woke I was still held in his big arms, and to my great chagrin and great joy I realized exactly how much my Emmett meant to me.

I'd give anything to be with him for the rest of my natural life, and then some. I'd give anything and everything to never see him frown again, to only see him smile. And I'd do whatever it took to be the source of those smiles. He was my entire world, my everything, all because he had set me free.

And because I was free, free to live and free to love, I couldn't help but be head-over-heels-ass-backward in love with him.

~ "You Set Me Free" Michelle Branch


	12. Ch 11: The One

I let Rayvn pull herself from my arms when she woke, though I wanted nothing more than to pull her back against me and never let go. I lay there, on my bed that now smelled of her as well as me, enjoying the lingering heat from her touch on my body.

I could hear her moving around in her bedroom on the other side of the apartment. I could hear the slide of fabric as her nightdress fell from her body to puddle on the floor. I heard the rasp of a zipper being pulled, heard the soft clink of metal on metal- her bra- and the whisper of silk against skin. I tried to block out the images my mind gave me but I couldn't…

No rush though I need your touch

I won't rush your heart

I gripped my mind with all of my self-control and pulled it in before it ran away with me. I could not handle the burning fire in my groin or the ache in my chest with her around. I would lose what precious control I had over my actions and I'd tip her hand too soon. I didn't want to scare her… she'd already been damaged by a vampire…

Until you feel on solid ground

Until your strength is found, girl

I stood and dressed, resigning myself to playing the part of her best friend until the day when I felt it was right, the day I'd take the biggest risk of my long, long life. I'd let her be completely stable again, after our slightly rocky trip to Forks. I'd hope Edward hadn't reopened too many old wounds, and hope that I could help her heal them again.

I'll fill those canyons in your soul

Like a river lead you home

And I'll walk a step behind

In the shadows so you shine

So for the next month my life was all about my Rayvn- not like it wasn't already- and her comfort. I did my best to keep the house clean, I even cooked for her- a task she'd taught me and said I was actually rather good at (as long as I followed the directions EXACTLY). I was always there, always reading her moods and her expressions. I never let her hurt; never let her feel unwanted or worthless. I wanted her to see how important she was to me. So I let my little life take the back burner for a while.

Just ask it will be done

And I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

I prayed she'd notice, prayed she'd see the love in my eyes. And that when she did she'd realize all my actions were proof. Proof that though I was a vampire, and a Cullen, I was NOT my brother or my ex-wife. I was Emmett, and I was hers. And if she'd let me I'd be her one and only…

Her birthday came and I felt my gut clench. She'd asked for no big party like last year, just a whole day of staying in and watching our favorite movies. A day of "just being us". Really it was enough for me but I wanted her to feel special… And then I knew… I knew that it was the day, the day I tell her…

Somebody else was here before

He treated you unkind

I damned Edward inwardly as I watched Rayvn move about our small kitchen- making her dinner. Would those scars ever fully heal? Would she ever be able to love anyone again? Could she trust? I'd not seen her spare even a passing look to the men at the clubs and bars, even when they'd tripped all over themselves to be near her.

If they meant nothing to her… if she couldn't find enjoyment in another man's attention how could she ever love another man- how could she ever love me? Her emerald eyes met mine for a moment and she smiled at me. Could her eyes ever shine with more than a platonic love for me? Could they ever darken with lust and desire? Or had my idiotic brother broken her beyond my ability to repair…

And broken wings need time to heal

Before a heart can fly, girl

But no matter how long it would take for those injuries to heal I'd wait. I'd wait for all eternity to have her for even a minute before the end. One day she'd be completely healed and she'd be able to rise above her hurt, like she'd helped me do. And on that day, I told myself, she would find me waiting for her.

I'll fill those canyons in your soul

Like a river lead you home

And once she'd decided she was mine she'd never feel empty and alone again. Never would she be lost and without a heart to call home. And how I hoped and prayed that day would be today…

And I'll walk a step behind

In the shadows so you shine

I walked up to her and popped myself up onto the counter beside her workspace. "I need to tell you something Rayv-baby." I said softly, and while her eyes filled with worry she nodded, offering me a smile. "I want you to know I'll never be like HIM. I'll never make you be the "perfect" or "typical" woman. I'll always be beside you, or let you have the spotlight if you want it. I'd never make you feel worthless." I took her hands in mine and she looked startled, confused. "Never" I said fiercely.

"I know," she whispered, smiling at our clasped hands, "I know."

Just ask it will be done

And I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

But I continued in a rush, if I didn't get it out now I'd never get it out. "If you ever want anything, anything at all I'll do it or I'd die trying."

"Don't be silly Emmett," she started, her voice soothing and calm, "I'd never ask you something like…"

"That's not the point." I interrupted quickly, "I just… you need to know, okay?" I ran one hand through my curly hair, "I'm making a mess of this… "

Trust in me and you'll find a heart so true

All I want to do is give the best of me to you

And stand beside you

"Of what Emmett?" She pulled her hands from mine and then threaded her right hand with my left. "What are you trying to say?"

"I will NEVER hurt you." I said, trying desperately to find the right words. She still looked confused. "I will NEVER hurt you like they did. I will NEVER lie to you, I will never take away you're ability and right to choose. I will ALWAYS support you."

Just ask it will be done

And I will prove my love

Until you're sure that I'm "the one"

To my immense annoyance and frustration she still looked confused. With a growl I moved faster than she could see, determined to FINALLY get it right. I slid from the counter, popped her up in my place and kissed her with a passion I'd been holding back for FAR too long.

The heat from her body seared my cold skin. But her soft lips molded to my granite ones. I'd pulled her so her chest was nearly flush with mine. She was so close I could feel the extreme heat of her body radiating out to my own. I quivered in an attempt to control myself.

She gasped and I took it as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, to MAKE her see what she meant to me. I was so she she'd push me away, so sure it was my first, last and only chance… Her hands settled on my shoulders, to push me away… But one of her small hands wrapped around my neck, the other buried itself in my hair and she held me closer. She wrapped herself around me and I felt like my heart would explode. Having the heat of her pressed so… intimately against me burned into my mind, ruining my every ability to reason.

When she pulled away I growled but let her, remembering in the back of my hazy mind that humans had to breathe. She dropped her head to my shoulder, pressing her face against my neck, her hot breath making me shiver. "I love you," I said confidently, so they would be no possible confusion, "I love you and I am NEVER letting you go."

~" The One" Gary Allen


	13. Epilogue: She Used To Be Mine

FYI This is from Edward's POV.

My gut roiled, I fought to keep my smile in place and my pain from my eyes. Seeing Rayvn again… after a year since I'd last seen her, and over three years since she walked away from me… it hurt worse than I'd expected. But that was rather understandable, given the circumstances.

Her white and pale green gown fluttered in the summer breeze, she looked like a goddess walking through the meadow (our meadow). The small veil tucked under her sloppy bun ghosted down her bare back and across her bare shoulders. The moonlight glinted off the tiara of emeralds and diamonds that sat nestled atop her head. I wanted to look away from the vision of beauty but I couldn't and I wouldn't ruin the moment for my friend and my brother.

Charlie was brimming with excitement and happiness, his mind nothing but a snarl of bright though, as he walked his only girl down the isle. He was even fond of his new son-in-law. So he was finally getting everything he'd ever wanted for his little girl. Esme was patting Renee's hand as Rayvn's mother cried tears of joy.

She looked so good movin' 'cross the dance floor

Better than the day she left me

It broke my heart to see how perfect she looks now, how graceful she had become. She'd blossomed into a wonderful and beautiful woman with Emmett to watch over her. She was impossibly different from the young girl who I'd fallen in love with, but she was still the same in so many ways, and she still held my heart…

Arm in arm with somebody new

Holdin' hands and laughin' like we used to

I got my best smile on, but it's no disguise

It don't hide the pain in these eyes

Jasper touched my arm gently as he and Alice passed me, heading to the dance floor that Rayvn and Emmett glided gracefully across. He knew my pain, he felt it, and the pity in his eyes only made my chest constrict further. Alice spared me a look and what she saw in my face made her frown in worry. I gave her my best smile but she frowned further. I just shook my head, I couldn't even make

I did her so wrong, for so long

Turned my back on her love, now she's long gone

I deserved my pain… I caught sigh of Rosaline from across the dance floor. She scowled at the happy couple openly, she hated Rayvn so much. But we received what we'd created, Emmett and Rayvn were innocent, and it was right that they were happy.

I did my part, to break her heart

She walked out on me, and tore my world apart

Still… My heart, had it been beating, would have given up the night she left me. I could still remember it like it was yesterday- it was so etched into my memory…

_Rayvn's beautiful eyes were puffy and red-rimmed when I came home. I greeted her as always, How are you love?"_

_She took a deep breath and I was filled with worry. Something was very wrong. Dread began to tighten my chest, "I'm… I'm not okay." Her voice shook and was laced with fear._

_Instantly I was enraged, "What's wrong Rayvn? Has anyone hurt you? Upset you?" I was ready to slaughter whom so ever had hurt my beautiful little angel._

_"Yes," she said, her voice slowly strengthening as she felt calmed by my protectiveness, "Yes someone has hurt me." I tensed, waiting for the name so I might go and exact my revenge for her sake. "You have." My entire world stopped, my head began to spin- a very uncomfortable and novel feeling for me let me assure you._

_Gods what have I done to hurt her? I wondered while the black little part of my mind sneered at me saying, 'What haven't you done?' "What have I done wrong love?" I was desperate to know how I'd hurt her, believing so totally that she could not possibly know…_

_"Oh please Edward. I'm not stupid." My heart, had it still been beating, would have stopped. Gods she knew… "You cannoy possibly believe that you've hidden your affair with Rosaline from us all."_

_'No,' I wanted to say, 'No just from you and Emmett…' instead I said as contritely as possible, "What affair? Rayvn, how can you say such a thing?" Gods I hated myself as the lie spilled from my lips with no conscious thought from me at all. "I love you." A complete truth, but one I wasn't sure would fix everything…_

She used to be mine

Oh, she used to be mine

I looked around the meadow and remembered. I remembered taking her here and showing her why I couldn't be in sunlight, why I was always missing school… She'd called me beautiful. Really she was the beautiful one. Her beauty had driven me to kiss her, to love her, and to try to protect her from everything- even myself.

It's taken every bit of strength that I have

To keep a hurt look off of my face

I clenched my jaw as Emmett dipped Rayvn, who laughed with glee, and kissed her sweetly. He held her so gently, but his arms looked… grotesque holding her to me. She was so tiny, so frail, and he was so capable of such strength and violence- more so than even me or Jasper.

I can't keep from lookin' back over my shoulder

At the lucky man takin' my place

Oh, if it weren't for my pride, I'd probably take off runnin'

Guess what I'm feelin', is what I got comin'

I turn away and walk stiffly to the open bar. We'd all had a sip of the champain toast, and as awful as it had been I knew I could begin to dull my senses if I could stomach enough.

Ay Rayvn's gleeful laugh and a shrill, "Emm! Stop!" I had to turn and look. Emmett, the lucky bastard, had Rayvn in his arms bridal style. She looked so… perfect in that dress… I quelled my burning desire to run as far away as possible and ordered a shot of tequila. I was damned well going to stay. She wanted me to be there, as her friend, and it was a punishment I deserved.

I did her so wrong, for so long

Turned my back on her love, now she's long gone

_Her voice was mocking as she answered, "Please Eddy," I flinched at the cruel use of a nickname, "You think I don't know what sex smells like?" How would she know what it smells like? How could she possibly… "You think I don't see Emmett WASTING away?" I cringed again, Emmett… poor, poor Emmett. I hadn't even considered my brother, not rationally. Suddenly I felt like a real ass. "And now you sit there and LIE!"_

_When she slapped me my head snapped to the side with the force of her blow. I knew her hand must hurt, it was brilliant pink, but I ignored the blow. "How…?" I asked, incredulous._

_"I smelled it on you one night, when I was awake when you came in." Ahh, well, major mistake there, I hadn't even realized she wasn't sleeping. I was not thinking straight, I was so happy to lay with her for the night without my hormones raging like a teenaged boy's… "The next time you left I came here and just asked Esme which 'sister' of mine it was." Esme ratted me out?! My anger began to burn again._

_"Alice was there so I figured it out for myself." Oh… well yea, that would work too… Shit I hadn't been careful at all. "Besides Emmett looked terrible!" She looked so angry, almost hateful, "No wonder you were keeping me away from your family." Well duh, Alice would have told her if I'd left them alone together for even an instant. "You couldn't be sure if they'd tell me, but if I'd of seen Emmett and known something was wrong."_

_I let my shoulders droop with pain and embarrassment and grief. "What are we going to do?" The dread building in my chest increased one hundred fold in the moments before her answer. She sagged and I felt that tension rush away. I pulled my beautiful love into my arms, rejoicing mentally at having not completely ruined the best thing I'd ever been given…_

_And them Emmett roared in pain. And she began to fight me, my Rayvn began to yell, "Damn it, let GO Edward!" I refused, I held her tight to me, the dread back and my chest too tight to even form words. But I begged her with my mind, 'No, No, please no, no Rayvn my love. My life.'_

_The door slammed open and I jumped in surprise as Emmett roared again. I released Rayvn and moved to the side just before Emmett's blow caught me and sent me through my window… "GET OFF HER!"_

I did my part, to break her heart

She walked out on me, and tore my world apart

She used to be mine

Oh, she used to be mine

_She walked to Emmett's side and tucked her small hand in his gigantic fist before I could yell for her to be careful, that he might hurt her. Emmett just pulled her flush to his side and glared at me. "There is no 'we' Edward." My heart began to crack, the pain ripping my insides apart. But I did not move, praying she was not doing what I thought she was doing, and unable to make myself stop her. "I'm leaving you." The cracks in my heart grew… "We're over Edward. I won't let you keep breaking my heart. I deserve better than that." My heart shattered explosively into billions of tiny particles of dust._

_Finally I was able to form words, "Rose and I are done." I said as quickly as I could, "I swear. No more. Please," I put all my feeling into that one please, "just don't leave."_

_The determination in her eyes wavered, softened and I took heart, feeling some glimmer of hope. And then they hardened. "No, you should have thought of the consequences before you started this with Rose. You've broken my heart too many times Edward. I will not waste my life here with you."_

_My world became hazy. She HAD to stay, HAD to listen to my reasoning, to WHY. I lunged for her but Emmett scooped her away and ran. I lunged after them but Carlisle and Jasper caught my arms and held me fast as I screamed my anger and fought them. "RAYVN! RAYVN NO!"_

I did her so wrong, for so long

Turned my back on her love, now she's long gone

I did my part, to break her heart

She walked out on me, and tore my world apart

She used to be mine

Oh, she used to be mine

I sat on my stool and remembered why, why I'd lost her. The ever constant bruise on her lips from whenever I'd kissed her. I looked at her and saw no bruise on her lips, no mark on her flesh. I'd done the unforgiveable in a misguided attempt to protect her from myself, and in the attempt I'd broke her heart and lost her.

Oh, she used to be mine,

She used to be mine

I closed my eyes and for a bare instant I could still taste the honey sweetness of her lips on mine, could feel the burning heat that I loved so… But when I opened my eyes I was cold… cold and alone.

~"She Used To Be Mine" Brooks and Dunn

The dress she's wearing is this one: .com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49995498¤tIdx;=121&subCategory=-49999486%7c-49995498&catentryId=1000093 but it has the clover inset. (to see it just click the first green box)

And this is her tiara: .com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49997495¤tIdx;=11&subCategory=-49998498%7c-49997999%7c-49997495&catentryId=1000506 Also in clover.


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